2020 has come at last!
New Years is always a big year in the hypnosis field because this is the time of year when everyone makes their last minute resolution for the new year and looks to get a little boost to help them seal the deal.
My New Year's Resolution is always the same:
* Improve the lives of as many people as I reasonably can.
* Have a good time doing it.
* Make as many friends as possible along the way.
In the spirit of the season, today I'd like to talk about goal setting, focus and how so many people do it incorrectly and tend towards failure. There are three big mistakes I tend to see people make:
1. Setting a goal, not an intent
2. Exclusively macro planning
I’ll be breaking these down over three different blog posts so they’re easier to digest and a quicker read individually:
Setting your intent
I want you to take a minute and think about the last goal you deliberately set. Maybe it was to lose fifteen pounds. Maybe it was to quit smoking. Maybe to drink less or fight with your family less.
How long did that goal last? The nasty truth about goal setting is that most people begin to derail their plans within 48 hours of setting the goal. Only 64 percent of resolutions last longer than the first month, and only 46 percent last longer than six months. Even more discouraging is the statistic that only 14 percent of people over 50 actually achieve their resolution compared to 39 percent of people in their 20’s.
Why does this happen? Why do people set goals, even minor and trivial goals, and fail so quickly? To be blunt, it’s the fact that they are setting goals that ensures failure. Here's why that happens:
Try this: Close your eyes and picture the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the word “goal”.
What did you see? Most people picture some variation of a finish line. Perhaps some reward in the future, like appreciative looks and compliments over having lost some weight. Perhaps a vacation you purchase with the extra money you make with that side project you’ve built out. Maybe finally holding that book you’ve been meaning to write.
What do these ideas all have in common? They’re in the future. And the future changes all the time.
In hypnosis and some circles of psychology this is often called Goal Disassociation. When you set a goal as something you work towards, and as separate from your current life circumstances, you fail to fully integrate yourself with the goal achieving process and then can't adapt to any changing circumstances that can derail your plan.
When I work with someone in concretely setting their plans, I never focus on setting a goal for them. I teach them how to set their intent. Over the decades this has been one of the secrets to success that most people overlook.
When your set your intent, you change your outlook on your current circumstances. You are no longer someone who says “I am going to lose 15 pounds” and you intently become someone who is losing 15 pounds. Changing how you see yourself is the key to achieving a permanent change in your behavior.
See the difference? Goal setting means you may or may not be doing something in the future. Setting your intent directly involves you in the process of reaching your goal by changing how you view your place in the process.
Setting intent is no minor thing. It requires a subtle but powerful reframing of how you view yourself and your ability to get something done. It requires close, and sometimes uncomfortable, analysis of how you see your ability to achieve goals and what may have held you back in the past. And most importantly, it culminates in a new understanding of how and why you’re going to succeed.
The process can be intense but fun and I’ve never had it fail. I can't put the whole thing here in this post due to the hypnosis involved so if you have a goal you want set into an intent and you want to transform into the person who can reach it, Contact me when you’re ready.